To say, or not to say on stage…

Many a times in life when we speak without thinking, we have had to eat our own words. These days, cracking jokes on every social media post or trying to be funny is the “in” thing. But sometimes our own wisecracks could fall flat – “mooh ki khaani padi”, as the saying goes in Hindi.

For musicians on stage (especially the lead singers and performers), not saying anything to the audience could make experiencing a concert pretty boring. Or maybe not?

However, there are some things one should never tell their audience when on stage. These points have come as feedback from musicians / FOH engineers, and from my own personal experiences while attending various concerts.

“Quiet please. We’re still doing sound check.”

In India, most shows don’t start bang on time. And the audiences walk in late assuming that there is surely going to be a delay. And in case the crowd is on time, sometimes they find that a little “ting, tung” is still happening on stage (technical term = sound check). Instead of asking the audience to be quiet or asking them to leave the venue, the artistes can make the sound check process interesting to witness.

At one concert, Ustad Zakir Hussain said, “for a short while you will hear some Chinese music. It is called tooning.” This made the audience smile and remain patient.

Hey, don’t copy this idea. Figure out your own new thing to say.

“My tabla is not sounding right.”

As explained in the #SAundcheck article – “know your sound guy” – address the FOH / monitor engineer by his or her name. Not many bands can afford to have a stage mixing (monitor) engineer in their team. When your stage monitors may not be sounding right during an ongoing show, use signs to have the levels adjusted. And do it in such a way that people don’t get distracted.

As guitarist Sanjoy Das explains in his #converSAtion, work all this out with the FOH team before the show begins.

“My throat is hurting.”

The audience feels cheated if you tell them that you will perform despite a bad throat. If you sing badly just for the sake of singing, you will not only see the audience leave the hall after a while, but you will also lose a large fan base. It’s better to cancel your performance if you really feel uncomfortable. The organiser getting panic attacks due to this is another story.😊

But at least the event team and you (the artiste/band) won’t end up putting up a poor show.

“Sorry, I forgot the lyrics.”

Often you have had a long journey and the band members have come straight from the station or the airport to the venue. If the lyrics have not been well-rehearsed, there is a risk that they will be forgotten or get mixed up. In this day and age, carrying lyrics on a smartphone or tablet can help. And such tools help you avoid goofing up the lyrics.

Anyone who was at the recent U2 concert in Mumbai (December 2019) knows how the show ended because this important point was ignored.

“You guys are so boring.”

Even if you are background music for the audience, many of whom are talking to each other or most hanging around at the bar (during wedding / corporate events), never tell them that they are boring. There would be some people sitting or even standing at the back and listening to you intently, and you should encourage them to shake a leg or just sing-along. Others then are bound to come closer to the stage and have a good time.

Many a times, the city’s VVIPs are made to sit on fancy sofas closer to the stage. Chances are they don’t know any of your songs. So their mobile screens may keep them engaged. Never chide them. But smartly try to get them on their feet to dance to a peppy number you may have. So, don’t give up even if the initial responses are a blank.

“I lost my mom yesterday.”

I know this is not a line one utters (or can utter) in every show. It could have happened. Well, very sorry to know about your loss. If you feel it is your professional duty to not disappoint your listeners, don’t mention it to the audience, and also ask the compere not to mention it either. People come to a concert to let their hair down and to enjoy your music. Best is to cancel the event due to such unforeseen circumstances.

“I have a flight to catch.”

At many college festivals, performances go on for a little longer due to the encores. In case there is poor connectivity to your hometown (or base), try to start the show early and take the last flight back. Even better would be to go back the next day. If some people have come from say, Pune to Mumbai to attend your show, they will go back very disappointed that you ended it early. Plan your show timings well. Don’t show off that you’re busy and so have to rush.

“Helloooo <Chennai>”

As shared by a colleague, this is what a singer said when he came on stage. Well, hello, yes. But sir you are in Delhi now. What a turn-off for the audience it was. Musicians can’t be so stoned or  worked up that they don’t even remember where they are! Don’t goof up on the college names either where you’re performing. And get all names right in your thank-yous, in case you want another gig at the same venue again.😊

There would be many more such don’ts. Maybe they are even more important or critical than these mentioned. Just make sure as performers you do the job well, on and off stage.

After all, your audience is your brand ambassador. Go win them.